Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Whining...

Yang dikurniakan buat kita itu mungkin bukan yang paling sempurna..

Tapi bersyukurlah...

Kerana andai dia tiada,
mungkin beban rindu itu lebih azab tak tertanggung,
mungkin hari lebih suram dari musim dingin yang cukup muram,
mungkin pekerjaan akan lebih sukar untuk dibereskan...

Sekurang-kurangnya,
Guraunya mengukir ceria di wajah kita,
Rajuknya menimbulkan kasih yang berpanjangan,
Senyumnya mengubat lara hati yang gundah...

You complete me........

Sunday, February 15, 2009

It is written...

What is the meaning of motherhood in educational endeavor?

Well, I just can imagine one word to describe this: SACRIFICE.... And I mean A LOT of sacrifices...

As I wrote in my previous post, being a mom and a student, simultaneously, simply means that you have to give more, even more than you ever gave before...

Faris is almost 3 months old now.. Since he was born, I don't remember sleeping for 6 straight hours like I always do (that is at night, let alone taking naps during the day).. And I don't remember not rushing back from class everyday just to make sure he's not hungry for being at home for at least 3 hours without me.. (Well, he don't enjoy breastfeeds from a 'fake' boobs...:P) I've to really plan what my nights are going to be like, as I have to do the readings, finish the assignments, cooking for my beloved hubby, and of course spend some time to cuddle the baby... As a wife, your hubby needs more than just good foods. He also need a friend whom he can talk to, share the story with, and share the love he had... And I may say, it is not EASY to arrange all that....

Sometimes, it's kinda tiring.. You'll be the first to wake up everyday (actually you never sleep well at all..), you'll be the one who serve breakfast (by cooking and by breastfeeding..), before you get ready to class, you have to make sure the baby got his bath, well-dressed and full with milk.. Sometimes you even face with dilemma, whether to feed him or to pump the milk first (Moms will understand this, after you feed your baby, most probably you don't have enough milk to be pumped..huhu).. and for me, the hardest part is when you want to make the first step out of your door, seeing him staring at you with that beautiful eyes...ohohohoh....

Urgghh....You'll always wish to turn back...

Amidst that 'huru-harare' life, being a mom actually teaches you to be strong...Stronger than you ever think you could be... Read this:

  • When you think you can't afford to wake up every hour at night and attend class during the day, you actually can...And you have no problem to concentrate, at all....
  • When you think 24 hours everyday is not enough for you to finish all that readings, assignments, chores, and managing your baby, you actually have more than enough (and you still can enjoy facebook-ing..:P)..~now that's what we call Time Management Skills..
  • When you feel like the day is not by your side, as you feel like giving up everything, surprisingly, you still have enough strength to play with your baby (and be nice to his dad...:P)

On the other hand, being a mom reveals talents you (or at least me..) never knew we had before....such as:

  • 'Fast-cooking' skills
  • Baby-shopping skills
  • 'Typing-and-breastfeeding-at-the-same-time's' skills...:D
  • Setting up baby's car seat......................and
  • Translating baby's cries......(Actually this is the hardest part...)


I never regret my decision to be a mom...NEVER...I'm glad that my decision have turned myself into a new me which is more matured (I betcha..), and give me the satisfaction I never had before...

But the best lesson of becoming a mom, is to really adore and appreciates mom's love...And I just adore the ideal motherhood feelings... I understand now why a women called ibu, mak, mama, mummy, bonda or ummi (whatever you call them) have a very high status in our life.. Nothing could ever replaced their eternal, unconditional love, sincerity and sacrifices for us.. They just deserves it more than anybody else..

The funniest part of me being a mum is I knew at first place that this is what I'll get through when I decided to bring Faris to this world..during the hardest and loneliest period in my life (at least until today)....But I still pushed through it until he was born....

And they asked me, why on earth do I still want to do it when I know that I'm going to face all this?

Well......

It's a motherhood call, I guess... Or perhaps, simply because...


...D: It is written.